Fear of Love..

Fear of Love.. I know this sounds dumb and obtuse., but yes, I am disinclined to Love.. Not exactly by love, but by the pain that we have to suffer with, when we loose our loved ones..
I know I am in love again, but I am not devise to fall. Cause I cognise, if there is no future with her, I have to face that anguish again.. I can't endure it, that's what I afraid of., that's my Fear of Love..
I know she loves me too, and she say it all the time., but I don't have strength to accept it, cause after all these golden memories, will surely come the pain to leave her.. That's disturbing, that ruins my pace of life, and I can't handle it again and again.. I want to be monogamous for life., or else I opt to be single. Don't know when I'll find that axenic soul who think like me. That's my Fear of Love..